Apparently there is someone willing to wear the world’s ugliest t-shirt. I spoke with Lisa Brennan about this startling new development.

JD: Okay, let’s talk about this fucking shirt.
LB: There’s not much to say about it.
JD: Oh, there’s plenty to say about it. Tell me, what did you have to go through to get this ugly, ugly t-shirt off your hands?
LB: What did I have to go through?
JD: Yes.
LB: I met up with my cousin… I don’t understand.
JD: Well, it’s the ugliest shirt in the world. How does meeting up with your cousin correspond with ridding yourself of this ugly, ugly, ugly shirt? What is the correlation here?
LB: She likes free t-shirts.
JD: She likes free t-shirts. And it doesn’t matter how ugly they are?
LB: It seems like the uglier they are, the more she likes them, actually.
JD: Is she poor?
LB: No.
JD: Is she blind?
LB: No.
JD: Then I don’t understand.
LB: I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t know.
JD: Is she an Alicia Keys fan?
LB: I guess so… when I gave it to her, she was like, “Alicia Keys!”
JD: That shouldn’t matter. This shirt is too ugly. If I were an Alicia Keys fan, the shirt would make me stop being one.
LB: Yeah.
JD: It seems we’re no closer to solving this mystery.
LB: I guess not.
JD: Fuck. Did she give you anything in exchange for the shirt?
LB: She gave me some clothes.
JD: Really? Describe these “clothes”.
LB: Some of them were a little weird. Most of them were okay. I refused to take the pants with the flowers on them.
JD: As well you should have. As well you should have.

There you have it. The shirt is in the hands of Lisa’s cousin, who apparently plans on wearing it with one of her many pairs of flowery pants. If this story ever develops further, I’ll probably let you know.

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